Friday (29th April)

Oooh oooh oooh
Oh yeah yeah
Yea-yeah
Yee-ah
Yee-ah
Yee-ah
Yea-yeah

4am waking up in the morning
Gotta be fresh gotta go downstairs
Gotta have my bowl gotta have grapefruit
Seeing everything the time is going
Ticking on and on, everybody’s rushing
Gotta get down--to the forecourt
Gotta catch my Rolls Royce Phantom VI
I see my chauffeur
He sits in the front seat
I sit in the back seat
My mind is already made up
I have no choice in the matter

It’s Friday, Friday
Gotta get wed on Friday
Everybody’s looking forward to the wedding, wedding
Friday, Friday
Getting wed on Friday
Everybody’s looking forward to the heirs
Nuptials, nuptials (Yeah)
Nuptials, nuptials (Yeah)
Fun fun fun fun
Looking forward to the wedding

12:45 we’re driving down the Mall
Cruising appropriately slowly
I want time to fly
Fun, fun, taxpayer-funded fun
You know what it is
I got this, you haven’t got this
My husband is by my right
I got this, you haven’t got this
Now you know it
Kicking in the back seat
Sitting in the back seat
This is the 1902 State Landau coach
There is no front seat

It’s Friday, Friday
Gotta get wed on Friday
Everybody’s looking forward to the wedding, wedding
Friday, Friday
Getting wed on Friday
Everybody’s looking forward to the heirs
Nuptials, nuptials (Yeah)
Nuptials, nuptials (Yeah)
Fun fun fun fun
Looking forward to the wedding

Yesterday I was a commoner, commoner
Today I am royalty, royalty
I I I so excited
I so excited
We gonna have a ball today
Tomorrow is Saturday
And Sunday comes afterwards
I don’t want this weekend to eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeennndddd

[The generic rap section is substituted for a verse from Jay-Z’s “Big Pimpin’”, to be performed by HRH Price Harry. Harry is, however, blind drunk by this point, and as he is clumsily led away by a fiendish Paul Burrell disguised as the Princess Royal, the wedding party resumes the chorus]

It’s Friday, Friday
Gotta get wed on Friday
Everybody’s looking forward to the wedding, wedding
Friday, Friday
Getting wed on Friday
Everybody’s looking forward to the heirs
Nuptials, nuptials (Yeah)
Nuptials, nuptials (Yeah)
Fun fun fun fun
Looking forward to the wedding

Suspended Disbelief, A Short Poem.

Suspended Disbelief

Clean shine shaven face sculpted like a Grecian
Stares down evil
Down the barrel of the gun pointed at his chest
Peppered with pellets and small-scale smoke effects
He stands, unafraid, undaunted by the intergalactic menace
Fires straight and true and fatal with a deft flick of the wrist
And turns, dark and compelling,
Eyes, unblinking, eyes that could stun a man at fifty paces,
Turns, composed and unfaltering
Steps out from the shadows ---
And clatters down the street like a bow-legged ostrich.

One man fate has made indestructible
Captain Scarlet.